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A pause or gap in a sequence, series or process.
I can call it that….Blogging was my therapy, my outlet and I neglected it or should I give her/him or maybe them a name to make it more personable..
Between raising two kids, Covid, working from home, home schooling and general life, you my dear have been out of sight and out of mind. But don’t think I didn’t miss you. I miss pouring my heart out to you, I miss the emotional roller coaster we would go on, I miss that you don’t judge me, my insecurities, my worries, my fears, my concerns.
You have been good to me and you have patiently waited for me, saving my thoughts from years past, saving my memories for me and hopefully one day for my kids and kids kids, you get the drift.
Where should I begin….. since we last communicated, I have had a 2nd daughter, now she’s 5. she is my precious, my heart, my joy. I already had one heart beat walking outside of me and now I have two. Someone once told me, the more kids you have, you don’t divide the love but its multiplied. And you cannot imagine the joy I feel when I see my two heart beats, walking, talking, playing, loving on each other, and vise versa how much my heart breaks when they fight, are sad or hurt. But like a good mother I don’t let them see it, I turn away when they catch me watching, I tell them everything will be ok even when I don’t believe it and I snap at them and the guilt afterwards is torture because I know they will get on my nerves again and I will snap again. But man do I love them.
What else is new. We are approaching our 12th wedding anniversary here in a couple of weeks, and its so crazy to me that it has been that long. I never offer marriage advise because even 12 years in, I still feel like I am still figuring it out. You want to imagine how you could still have you 20s back, no worries, concerns or fears. But between having created two humans, created a home and merged two families there is so much to juggle and it sure would be nice not to have to do it all, but why do I get such a sense of purpose and satisfaction from it all. I guess I love it.
And now me, I am also 40years now, I will be in a year and I can honestly say I am looking forward to it. Every year I feel like I am getting closer to the person I should be, I feel like I am actually more mature. My patience and expectations out of life has changed so drastically that its amazing. Maybe with sometime we can explore that further, maybe I will open up more to you as I get used to our talks.
My new journey – I loced my hair, 2 months now I will share my process and progress
I am a smoothie con
I walk everyday, and go to the gym twice a week. Still trying to figure out my goals
I need a side hustle, now that kids are back in school
We can discuss and explore all the above together, I will forward to this new chapter. Thank you, hmm we still haven’t named you ha! Well we can explore that together too…